"The Service Entrance"

I no longer let love in through the back door. I'm not trying to hide my face pass the kitchen staff in order to be in your presence.

But....It feels like a burst of pure indulgence. The moisture from my top lip. The gentle caressing sensation massaging my mind. That hidden pit of hope that my future is seen through the vision of your lens, as a lover or friend.

TO YOU...

I am but a puppet. A cute little thing of play. But make no mistake....you don't love me. I temporarily signed my soul over to your hidden agenda. I know you're not Judas but you're no Jesus. One would think we are all humans thriving compassionately.

You had your fill, you played with strings, you told me lies.... things.... With a price.

I told you from the beginning...

I'm not ready.

I can't be what you want.

We are all looking for that one, in its own time.

So l slowly grab my purse, hold my head up high as you and the rest watch my back.

The line cook...

The night prep...

The sous chef...

I can feel the wind from the bottom crack of the door. My lifeless body turns the handle to drag these legs out of my own hearse.

I pause at the doorway looking ahead.  I turn slightly left to study the intricate details of the molding. I turn right to admire the masterful wood work in the framing. I look up carving a memory of this moment. The jail you put me in, you will rot... in this decaying scene.

You do not have to repeat! I heard you the first time...."Back door, Love."

The blurred lines of Friendship, Love and Pain.

I revoke your pass from visiting the future me. I may think I need you... but that won't always be.

With Love,
Acting and Apple Pie
aka...Your Favorite Star