Mr. Good Bar

I saw from the corner of my eye. In a glance...flashbacks of moments in the same Universe different atmosphere. A distant want that took years to embrace. Intense scene...panning slowly. No emotional connection vested except a deep hopeful organic powerful beginning!!!


"Joe, a glass for the lady."

"How are you? Its been years..."

"I'm well."

"How is..."

"Over"

"Nice. I... "

"Don't... FEEL."



The sound of an orchestra playing rhythmic pieces with the bass of my heartbeat. Strings vibrating against cords that were once deceased inside me. The sense of control and letting go with every sip. Pulsating hill country vineyards on the north side of the Rhine River.Tasting the sweat of each grape melting. Hint of crisp sweet apple notes drumming intoxicating flow of blood pumping... echoes of the tiniest veins throbbing. Wanting to stare but looking away. Wanting to run. Instead I stay. Images of what could and will be. Images of what could and won't be. Images of release and a sense of security.



Breathe...



"Joe, another glass for the lady!"

Love,

Acting and Apple Pie 


Enjoy a scene from one of my favorite movies...Looking for Mr. Good Bar

Weekly Slice: The Cerebral-C​lock-Out

Clock-In...

I tripped on my thoughts and stumbled across the Universe back to the arms of Destiny. Celebrating a victorious helplessness of greatness. All things come to full circle based on faith. The recipe of my soul... sugary driven passion resilient cinnamon courage with a doughy loving filling and some DAMN loyal Apples!!!

Lunchtime...

Every step left behind and moving forward formed perfectly through the belief in me, myself and the most high. Barefoot, leaving sandy prints...naked...open kimono because I believe in my own right to BE...

Check it...

Dance with the wind, shake another mountain, add more wood and play with that fire. Run to the edge of the rainbow and JUMP!

We are no longer in Kansas....

From Defined to Undefined to Redefined... Limits exist in the abyss of nothingness..Tears from a guilty subconscious... Prepare for war and murder the survival mode!!! Gather the momentum to LIVE what burns your HEAVY heart when you drift off in space... at the office place.

Clock-out!!!

Love,
Acting and Apple Pie

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

Nine years old gazing at the reflection in front of me.....wondering what awkward space awaits in twenty years. And in between the ages of  1...5...13...18 and 22 a natural self was dancing with lemon drops, gingerbread men and cotton candy on an homemade stage...with the red light.

Grandma's hallway was long with a smooth oak wooden floor. The stage faced the audience in the kitchen. The stage door-dressing room was to the left where all the brainstorming fairy tale dust magic began. Dressing room filled with lavish treasures of 1920's - 1970's best designer's. Wide brim fur hats, long white gloves, oversize Cotton Club jackets and Harlem Renaissance dresses that fit to perfection. Two jewelry boxes...to the left a solid cherry wood with a 14k gold clasp and to the right a hand painted lady with a pale bleach wood finish. There were rules in the dressing room...."diamonds and pearls" for the show were only handed out from the graceful painted lady...who sang before every performance.

It's Showtime!!!

With a flick of a switch...the stage was bathed in a red velvet curtain that would open once tiny footsteps appeared. The stage manager-Grandma-audience member would run to her seat.


"I am not afraid, I was born to do this" "This note is attached to a plant I've been waterin' since the day I met you... you may water it, yr damn self." "I am asham'd that women are so simple.To offer war where they should kneel for peace, Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway. When they are bound to serve, love, and obey."

In my mind I was NOT nine... I was Joan of Arc

In my mind I was NOT nine... I was "Lady in Red"
For Colored Girls

In my mind I was NOT nine... I was Kate
The Taming of the Shrew

In my mind I was NOT nine

I...

was...

YOU...

The crowd was always pleased and on demand encores were never turned down!!!

Love,
Acting and Apple Pie

Thank you Grandma for always providing me the props I needed for a successful life. Thank you for your applauds and constant encouragement that lives within me through every stage.

Note: "Lady in Red" quote
For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf by Ntozake Shange

The Apple of My Eye...

Early morning takeoff...best part of me...the unknown. Heart excited about rehearsal. Just got a call a few nights ago to rush and come in for a blind reading. Unbeknownst to her, a being waiting to be filled with breath. Letter word sentence scene manifest into a truth that started with an impregnated thought and a pen. Who is she...Where did she grow up... How much education does she have? Well... I know the writer.... so she should be quite witty. What stage in her life will we merge into one. Or submerge myself into her. I wonder how old she is and if she's social. I hope so because I never learn to be, but in her perhaps... I can... mind is racing because she is only 53 mins away.

Train door close, coffee station there...do I have time. That will make me more anxious. I should have prepared the house better. I wonder if she will like my decor choices. Will her parents approve of our union? Damn, I hope so. They'll cast me. Will I live up to her standards....

Mantra… the world must hear her VOICE!

                                                                    Birth Certificate
Date of Birth:                       October 20, 2011
Time of Birth:                       10:21AM
Birth Place:                           Studio 5, Dance New Amsterdam…New York ,New York
Gender:                                Female
Name:                                  Samantha
Weight:                                123.5lbs
Father:                                 Director/Writer Kamal Symonette-Dixon
Mother:                               Director/Writer Kamal Symonette-Dixon

I just met Samantha…
A smart, sexy, classy, I’m-gonna-take-your-man African American Apple of my eye 20's something lawyer. Well it said 30ish give a take a few years in my opinion.

Landing back...

Now I can finally focus on the two baby showers I have to plan.
Funny thing is…I don’t know the first thing about preparing for a newborn baby!!! HELP!!!

Love,
Acting and Apple Pie

This entry is dedicated to the strong beautiful expecting mothers in my life.

Jocelyn Sapadin
Amanda Charles
Amy Carey-Jones
Nechia Callender